Worried You’ll Say the Wrong Thing? Read This First

When we deliver mental health training for managers, we always ask the same question early on:

“What’s your biggest fear when it comes to talking to someone about their mental health?”

And nine times out of ten, the answers fall into one of two camps.

👉 “What if I say the wrong thing?”
👉 “What if I make it worse?”

These fears come up again and again, not because managers don’t care, but because they do.

And in many ways, those concerns are valid. Because without proper mental health training for managers, they’re left to navigate sensitive, often emotional situations without any real guidance or tools. It’s no wonder they freeze. Or avoid. Or second-guess themselves.

 Why Managers Fear Making Things Worse

Having trained hundreds of managers from retail to hospitality, from senior leaders to first-time supervisors, I’ve noticed that the fear of “making it worse” runs deep.

And I get it. I’m not just saying that as someone who’s delivered mental health training for years. I’m saying it as a psychotherapist who’s sat with clients in the aftermath of some of the most difficult experiences life can throw at you:

• The death of a child

• A terminal diagnosis

• A partner's betrayal

• Suicidal thoughts

• Deep, overwhelming grief

These aren’t rare cases. These are real things happening to real people quietly, invisibly, every day.

So when a manager says to me, “What if I say the wrong thing and make it worse?”  I understand. That fear isn’t coming from ignorance. It’s coming from compassion.

And yet, the path of doing nothing, staying silent, avoiding the conversation, can often have a more damaging impact than trying and getting it slightly wrong.

The Truth: You're Probably Not Going to Make It Worse

Here’s what I always say in our mental health awareness training sessions for managers:

If someone is already struggling, you showing care is not going to make it worse.

What makes it worse?
• Pretending not to notice.
• Minimising what they’re feeling.
• Rushing in to fix, rather than listening.
• Making assumptions.
• Avoiding the conversation altogether.

What helps?
• Being human.
• Asking how someone is and actually meaning it.
• Creating a moment of space in a busy day to say, “You don’t seem quite yourself — how are things, really?”

Most people aren’t expecting their manager to solve their problems. They’re just longing to be seen. Heard. Met with a bit of empathy.

And that’s something every manager is capable of when they’re shown how.

What We Teach in Mental Health Training for Managers

A big part of what we do in our mental health training is take the mystery and the fear out of these conversations.

We don’t turn managers into therapists (and we’re very clear that’s not the goal).
We help them remember they’re human first, leader second.

One of the most powerful exercises we use is this:

“If you were struggling with something — grief, burnout, anxiety, overwhelm — how would you want to be treated?”

Every time, the answers are the same:

• “With empathy.”

• “Without judgment.”

• “I’d want someone to listen.”

• “I wouldn’t want to feel like a problem.”

The truth is, people are starving to be listened to. Not managed. Not fixed. Just heard.

Real Conversations Make a Real Difference

In our training, we also teach a few practical, grounding questions that can be game-changing in these situations:

• “What would really help you right now?”

• “What do you need from me?”

• “What’s one thing that would make things easier?”

You’d be surprised how often the answers are simple:

• “Could I start a bit later for a few days?”

• “I just need to work from home for a bit.”

• “I’d love to not be on the rota this weekend.”

Small shifts that — when offered with empathy — can change everything.

Start With the Everyday Moments

One thing I say to every group of managers is this:

You already know how to have conversations. You do it all day.

You talk about supply chains, customer escalations, and weekly sales figures. What we’re encouraging you to do is bring that same confidence to a different kind of conversation.

Start with the non-problem chats.
Check in before diving into the day’s agenda.
Notice when someone’s quieter than usual.
Ask about the person, not just the project.

Because when you start flexing that muscle in the everyday moments, it doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming when something bigger comes up.

This Is Leadership

Real leadership isn’t just about KPIs and deliverables.

It’s about being the kind of person people feel safe around.
It’s about creating a team culture where it’s okay not to be okay.
It’s about knowing that sometimes, just being there is the most powerful thing you can do.

So if you’ve ever worried, “What if I make things worse?” — I want you to hear this:

What if you make things better?
What if you asking that question — instead of avoiding it — is the very reason someone gets the support they need?

That’s what our training is really about.
Not scripts. Not slides.
But real awareness. Emotional intelligence. Human connection.

Ready to Equip Your Managers With These Skills?

If you're an HR leader or senior decision-maker who wants to create a culture of trust, safety, and emotionally intelligent leadership, our mental health training for managers is for you.

It's designed to remove fear, build confidence, and equip your managers to show up with calm, clarity, and care, even when conversations feel hard.

🔹 No awkward role plays
🔹 No tick-box content
🔹 Just practical tools, human-first language, and deep shifts in perspective

Let’s talk about how we can support your team.